Back dating my blog posts so this isn’t in correct date order.

We come back to our hostel after spending the day shopping for gear so we’re prepared for the volcano hike. We come back to the hostel and find a new guy staying in our dorm, Jon. He’s a Brit and comes from I can’t actually remember. He wants to do a volcano hike so we suggest using the same company as us as we can all get a discount. Naz goes with Jon to the tour company and they haggle a deal. They both come back without paying as Jon needs to get money. We all go back to the tour company and end up doing a sort of good cop bad cop routine to secure the deal. We actually get quite a lot out of those guys: discounted rate on tour, packs so we don’t have to use our own, wind breakers as we don’t have our own, hiking boots as we don’t have our own and tents and sleeping bags as we don’t have our own. Lots of additional extras for the same price!

We spend the night getting prepared and get to know Jon better. A girl booked the volcano hike on her own and paid for 2 people but was doing it solo and we wondered what she would be like. Turns out she was a pretty outdoorsy person as she hiked for three days before arriving to our city and only had a days rest before doing another hike! Her name was Katie but I remembered it as Kate, I’m not sure if she was annoyed at that or not, but saying that I remember hearing everyone call me Wayne because I tried telling our guide my name and he kept saying Wayne so I let it slide, hehe.

We start the morning at 6am. Naz is pretty excited as he bought a watch the day earlier and kept boasting he now had the time. We were all pretty groggy but we got into the shuttle which took us to the city’s bus stop where we loaded our packs with the camping gear and food. We get on a chicken bus and we all chat to each other as we’re gonna be spending the next day and a bit together. Everyone is really friendly and we all get on fine. There are the momentary silences as we exhaust the topic we’re talking about, but Katie has the energy to continue talking. I think I mainly talk to her about travel experiences, something I find fascinating as there are things I wanna experience but never quite remember what they are.

When we get off the chicken bus, Katie finds that her camera is missing and it must have been the baggage handlers on the chicken bus that took it! Extremely disappointing and tragic that. She has her phone on her and calls her insurance company straight away. Despite that set back we carry on to catch the next chicken bus to take us to the bottom of the volcano.

After what seems like an hour on the bus, we get off at a tiny settlement at the bottom of the volcano. We strip off our jackets and stuff and prepare ourselves for the behemoth day ahead. Katie goes off to the toilet, which is an outhouse pretty much. A also go and see her returning back to us. A crazy dog starts barking like mad at her as Katie is walking near the dog’s puppies. She actually gets bitten, on the ass of all places, as she walks by. She isn’t hurt and was luckily wearing 2 trousers so the teeth didn’t penetrate. I try going to the outhouse too, but the dog barks so ferociously I chicken out and pee by some bushes. I didn’t get my rabies shot and don’t fancy going to get hospital treatment for bite wounds.

With us are an Israeli couple climbing the same volcano as us. They start before us and have a good 20min head start. We eventually start climbing and begin on a brick road. I think to myself, if its brick road all the way then its gonna be a piece of piss. Boy was I wrong. The hike is steep, rocky and tiring as we have our massive packs on our backs. I totally forget that I have a heart condition where one of my valves doesn’t fully pump blood out, and forgot to tell the tour company, though I don’t think they asked.

I end up taking more breaks than everyone else. I think Naz kinda waited with me at times as he wanted to have a break too. Everyone else where okay with the pace of the hike. We walk for about 20 minutes but it feels like an hour with our gear. We realise a scrawny black dog is following us. We laugh it off as we think the dog is just bored, but it turns out the dog is following us because we have food! Apparently this dog knows that hikers have food and will eventually give it to her if it hangs around long enough. Katie suggest we call the dog Claire, but everyone else wants something better. The name sticks but only cuz we were too lazy to think of a new name!

We start the hike at 10 and stop for lunch at 12. Picnic. It consisted of ham and cheese sandwiches, boiled egg, water and whatever other snacks we had. They had some amazing mayo that tastes so different and good compared to the stuff back home. We were on a slope and we had an amazing view of the countryside. So many different colours of green, made up from different trees, grass and bushes. The sky looks incredible, the clouds have so many shades of grey from really dark storm looking ones to wispy cotton like and almost brush stroke like ones. You get to see the huge shadow the big clouds are casting over the land. Its some I never really experience back home as I don’t do walks or hiking in the countryside. The weather is good, sunny and hot as we’re at high altitude. After lunch, we continue to forest and walk up to a peak. We can see how far we have to travel and it doesn’t seem too far away, but we don’t account for the steepness of the terrain.

Everyone has eaten too much and our progress is slightly slower than before. Even our guide ate too much and was sluggish. We have two guides with us. Alex, who didn’t speak a word of English but totally understood us, and I think the other guide was called Rico, who spoke pretty decent English. Rico was a guide on another volcano and was accompanying Alex on this hike to get to know the trail.

Claire is still following us at this point. We did give her some food and we thought she’d probably reach a point then turn back. Naz doesn’t like her too much. He refused to pet her on the grounds that she is probably dirty and she’ll contaminate his hands and he won’t be able to touch his face or something.

One thing that happened on this leg of the trip totally made the hike memorable. Since Naz and I started travelling together, I introduced him to ‘That’s what she said’ jokes. I’d usually say them under my breath as not many people know it, but as Naz was around I could make the joke and at least someone would laugh. I managed to make so many That’s what she said jokes I can’t even remember them all. Everyone eventually started doing it. I established that back home I know some who I work with who is like that and I would feed off that. As that person wasn’t around anymore I’d have to start the ball rolling. So then Jon turned into the person feeding off my dirty sense of humour!

The other thing that made the hike was farts and burps. Jon would fart a hell of a lot, not quite so much in front of Katie though but in front of the guys we’d hear it. I was doing the same but more discretely. Also I was burping loads too. We figured out that as we were going up the volcano, we must have been inhaling lots more air as the air is thinner at altitude. So we must have been swallowing air instead of breathing it. Jon did a previous hike somewhere else in Guatemala and he said he kept it discrete as there were lots of chicks in his group. He’d let them pass before letting rip so he wasn’t considered a ‘smelly’ guy. I guess he made an exception for Katie. I can’t quite remember if Naz was farting but he never mentioned it.

We get to base camp at like 3:30pm and we need to collect firewood. The area is quite flat and we see others have made campfires around us. I’m pretty sure that there were some camps with charcoal there for us, but everybody said it was and old campfire. The supposed campfires were black, looking like a BBQ. I’m sure when wood is burnt it turns grey! Nonetheless, we all gathered a shit load of wood as we wanted the fire to last a long time. After sunset there’ll be no light and warmth and we wanted to relax together for a while longer. We bought marshmallows to cook on the fire, that was something we did earlier in Mexico and that was fun. Naz had never been camping so everything was new to him. It was around the bonfire where Jon farted the most and I made the most That’s what she said jokes. Some where borderline acceptable and others where totally crap but That’s what she said kept coming out of my mouth. And I’d also say things which let it open for someone to reply with That’s what she said.

I dunno what time it was but it was pretty cold and pitch black around us. Jon and Katie warmed their bums on the fire and it was a perfect opportunity to slap both their asses in one around the world swing. Katie said she’ll break my nose if I did but I didn’t pay any attention to that. I didn’t do around the world slap as I didn’t want any awkwardness. I only met those guys a few hours earlier, didn’t wanna offend anyone as they would be around for the next day. It woulda been like a big brother situation where people might pair off differently. It wasn’t like that with the 5 of us. Everyone got on evenly and everyone respected each others boundaries. Its these type of backpackers I like being around.

We have hot chocolate and roast marshmallows over before the fire before we have our dinner. Bit if an odd way round but no one cares. Afterwards we have dinner, mushroom spag bol. We chat around the campfire and relax after dinner. Jon is still farting and I’m joining in too. Much That’s what she said jokes follow too. When the firewood starts running low we turn in for the night. Naz is scared Jon will stink this tent up while I’m sharing with Katie. Ah man, Katie thought she’d have the tent to herself as she didn’t think there was enough space, but in fact there was plenty! She laid her sleeping bag sideways thinking that was all the space you could fit. I think she was scared of sharing a tent with someone else. Naz and Jon are tall guys and there was no way I could fit in their tent.

The night was a rough one. I didn’t get much sleep as it was pretty cold and the sleeping mat provided little comfort. I managed to figure out a technique where I tucked my entire body into the bag and scrunched the opening together and tucked it in to make a sort of pillow. I ended up being pretty warm but the surface I was sleeping on made it hard to fall completely asleep.

We got up at 4am, which gave us around 1 hour to reach the summit. I wanted to take water but the guide said, the summit is only 15mins you don’t need it. The guy was totally wrong. It was an hour or so hike and we were knackered when we got to the top. The trial was very rocky and it was steeper than hiking through the forest.

When we eventually got to the summit we were painfully cold and desperately wanted the sun to appear to warm us up. The view at the top was amazing. We could actually see Mexico from where we were as well as several volcanoes in Guatemala. In the far distance we could a smoke plume from Sanmeguito (sp?), one of the active volcanoes in Guatemala. There was much cloud all over but eventually the sun popped its head out for dawn. It was a beautiful sight to see. I haven’t seen anything like it in my life as I’m a city boy.

It was all worth it. The pain in my heart hiking up, the freezing temperatures at night and the morning, carrying the heavy pack up 1000 metres. I spent the hike with some amazing people. Doing it just with Naz woulda been jokes, but we both knew that more people would make it even better. I’m really grateful that we decided to do the trek with ‘some random girl’ and really fortunate that Jon stayed in our dorm and came with us on our hike. I’d say it was of the best experiences I’ve had. I can’t wait to do more.

I have great difficulty in talking to the owner of hostel. I know he’s telling me numbers but I dunno what else he’s saying. I end up figuring it out as Q35 per day or Q250 per week. I pay upfront for a week and enter my room and unpack.

While unpacking I realise that none of the other Woofers are around. I guess I’ll have to wait so I can chat to someone. Some people were actually in the hostel. When they emerge from the room I introduce myself and tell them what’ll be doing with them. It turns out people who volunteer are seriously into farming for a future! When talking to them it feels like I’m the white elephant in the room. I’m so out of my element I don’t know what to do. After talking with a few people I establish this. Shad isn’t an organised person and has had little or fairly little teaching to the Woofers, he has no electricity in his house and has no internet connection too and that the people working there are a bit fed up of the living conditions and wanna leave soon.

I can’t be in a place such as this! No organisation and little contact from the boss means I won’t be able to make a website for Shad. I mean, I’m supposed to making a website in exchange for stay, but I’ve already paid. So much for that.

I spend the entire evening in my room, contemplating how bad this situation is. I came here to do a job on site, thinking I would have plenty of contact with the owner, but it turns out I’m living down the road away from the farmer and the farmer isn’t around very much. When i mean down the road, i mean 20mins hike up steep slopes and walking on rocks! I’m not sure how I fit in the grand scheme of things as Shad barely remembers who I was when I saw him on Sunday.

I feel like I’ve been done over with high expectations and poor delivery. This could happen anywhere around the world so I’m not too bitter about it. Its just so happened in a place where I’m travelling instead of freelancing.

I start the day having the gigantic egg burrito for breakfast and an extra long hot shower as I don’t know when the next time I’ll be able to have a hot shower. Apparently all countries south of Mexico don’t have hot showers. I guess I got lucky in Xela. I have the directions how to get to the farm and I’m paranoid I’m gonna get lost or get my bag stolen. I’ve heard horror stories where backpackers have had their stuff rummaged through while on top of a chicken and another time where someone who was still on a chicken bus see their entire pack taken by someone else and was too late to get off the bus to chase.

All I need to do is get to the west side of the lake and then get a 20 minute tuk tuk to the town of Tzununa.

I get told from reception that if I walk a few streets away from the hostel I can get a local bus to the bus terminal and get a chicken bus to the lake. I walk out, turn a few streets and then literally lose my bearings. The map shows straight roads but I’m seeing a turn that isn’t on the map. Street names are hard to distinguish so I stand around on the corner looking for buses coming down the road. Apparently there should be “bus conductors” shouting names of destinations and all I need to do is tell them “boos terminale” (bus terminal). I wait for a few minutes and can’t see any buses. I guess I’m in the wrong place. I carry on down the road and see something that might be a bus. I’m hesitant to ask the guy shouting as I still lack the courage to speak the little Spanish that I know. After a minute or so manage to pluck the courage to as the conductor.

Turns out that was a bus and I was just too chicken to ask. We make our way to the bus terminal, a route I know already as Naz and I have walked it pretty much. We get dropped off at the market next to the bus terminal. Now the bus terminal is on the other side of the market and I need to navigate my way through. I’d been through the market before as when we finished our volcano hike we went from the bus terminal to the local bus stop, so I’m doing the reverse journey.

A few minutes in the market and i realise I’m lost. I don’t recognise any of the stalls around me. I come to a junction and don’t quite know which direction to go. All I remember is that the road we walked on last time was wide so I try to see which route leads to a wider path. Sod it, let’s go straight on. Down some steps that I don’t remember walking up but pow, I get on the wide path that leads straight to the chicken buses.

The chicken bus terminal is hectic. As a backpacker you stick out like a sore thumb and I get paranoid I’m gonna get ripped off. The names of the destinations are written on the front of buses, the routes are fixed for the drivers. I try to find one for San Pedro but all of a sudden some random dude comes up to me as asks, “Pana?”. He means Panajachel, which is on the other side of the lake. I tell the guy, no and say “San Pedro”. He replies with what I think was “you can get to San Pedro from Pana”. As I don’t know any better I say OK let’s go. First mistake. He either gave me an up sell or just wanted the fare as he saw I was a little disoriented trying to find a San Pedro bus. I realise I got done over as while I’m on the bus I see other chicken buses going the opposite way that read Xela – San Pedro. I’m quite lucky Lake Atitlan has good boat connections as I probably would have been sent the wrong way.

So I end up at Panajachel, the other side of the lake. It just means ive already past my destination and going slowly further away from the town i need to get to. I can get to San Pedro but it’ll cost more and take longer but I’ll get there in the end. I’m still the ropes of travelling solo. If I had a buddy to stop me going the wrong way I wouldn’t be in this situation.

At Pana, a fair load of people are heckling at gringos if they need hotels. I’m one of them but reply to some guy that “I need a boat to Tzununa” in English. The guy replies in pretty good english and tells me where to get a boat, but I’m also dying for a piss. The guy explains that there are two places but they’re restaurants. No problem, I can get lunch too. I go to a chicken restaurant. Its quite an interesting one. There is a drive in type window to get quick service from outside, a normal counter for takeaway service and if you sit in, there is table service. Kinda makes everything more efficient! Everyone is catered for.

I get a standard chicken burger and drink and make a beeline for the toilet after I’ve devoured the burger. Lunch now done and toilet emergency taken care of I have time to double check the directions Shad, the farmer, gave me. I leave the restaurant and make my way down to the dock to catch my boat.

When I get to the dock, immediately a tour guy comes at me and offers me which destination I want. I tell him where and he walks me to the boats. Along the way we have a brief chat, he says something in Spanish and I don’t get it, so he something again and I hear “INGLES” so then I reply, “oh where I’m from”. I say “Chino” as I think that’s how you say Chinese in Spanish.

I get to the boat and I get told the fare and was asked if I could pay upfront. I find this a little odd as if I lied and you took me to my destination, where on a dock could I get money out? I pay upfront, thinking I’m getting screwed over, as a tour dude introduced me to the boat so he’d get a kick back. Turns out I actually paid normal price. I’m really not sure how these guys get money.

I share the boat ride with locals and an american dude who works at a hostel near my town. He tells me a bit of history about the lake and what life is like here. The guy, who’s name I can’t remember, has been here for 2 months and really sells the area well.

I reach my town after about 15 minutes on the boat. The view is amazing. Its like Sumidero Canyon all over again. The lake doesn’t have a shore as it’s basically a volcano creator filled with rain water. I take a couple of pics as I like the scale of the nearby volcanoes behind the lakes.

I make my way up a slope after leaving the dock and ascend to check into the only hostel in town.